Dreams, prayer and confirmation

Some considerable prayer and deliberation has led to this point of decision. It seems like a lot of money to spend on a "joy" ride, especially when operating on a retirement income. I needed some confirmation and a purpose for doing this other than just to do it. There is of course the wonder of discovery and the allure of adventure that goes along with such a trip. There is the planning and preparation, the excitement of what lies ahead along with the fear of potential failure to fuel the preparation to succeed. These reasons were entirely sufficient to embark on an extended road trip adventure in my mid twenties. But in the ensuing 36 years, I need more reason and confirmation. I need a larger purpose and a sense of divine affirmation that I am to actually embark on such an indulgent excursion.

For me, that affirmation in response to prayer came incrementally over the past couple of years. Almost 2 years ago I asked that God provide finances for such a trip completely apart from our normal income stream. The provision came not long before my retirement in 1Q08 when, as part of a CAS work-team that saved the company several hundred thousand dollars, we were each monetarily rewarded for our efforts. The award was within a hundred dollars of the total cost of the cross country trip I was most interested in.

I also had a sense that I needed to connect this trip to something meaningful to me -- specifically to Pedal-with-Pete. Could I be a surrogate for Pete's great dream and if so, how could "Ride, for Pete's Sake!" go forward if I was on the road? I agonized and prayed about this in late 2008. In January I discussed this with the PwP core team and came to the conclusion that I just could not lead a ride this year, keep up with my C.R.A.C.K. House Ministries responsibilities, train and prepare for a cross country trip, and be present to Marcia and our involvement in the lives of our 3 grown kids. I finally concluded that the solution was to bring the PwP ride to closure with this trip.

But God had other plans. Cathy and Dave Levy polled the PwP volunteer team and concluded that they wanted to move forward with this years ride. They have always had great passion for this ride and Cathy stepped forward to lead. She has already brought her enthusiasm and fresh ideas to re-invigorate the ride. And the rest of the team has picked up the planning and my responsibilities to move this forward. And so, this x-country adventure has larger purpose and connection to Pete and to the ride that bears his name.

Finally, I needed affirmation from the most significant person in my life, my soul mate, Marcia. As I vocalized this dream of mine, she saw how much it meant to me. Instead of rolling her eyes (which I admit I do occasionally when she tells me her dreams -- literal ones in this case), or trying to talk me out of it, or dismissing it as late-life crisis or countering with her own ideas of how better to spend such money, she listened, nodded, asked and observed. Finally a few months ago she began saying things like: "You know, you really need to get your registration in." Or "Are you just going to talk about this or are you actually going to do something about it?" Or "After all those years of going to work every morning, you need to take off and just do this trip!" And so confirmation came here as well. Confirmation that I should just do it and confirmation that I have a most wonderful and understanding first lady!